Food and Footage

I have been thinking lately about how I look while I am working. Unless you are a personal trainer or an actress, you really can’t see yourself while you work but over time, I think, we come to recognize patterns in the faces we make. When I used to work at a computer all day, I made a lot of open mouthed, fly-catching faces. When the sun got strong in my window, I made  squinty pursed mouth faces at the screen.

But in my new, more physical job as a cook, my faces have become more like a pro-basketball player’s. I do head rolls, I nod at teammates, I gasp at the heat. The extremity of the job really forces me to resort to comforting facial gestures and body movements.  So here is a list of what I perceive to be the most common faces I make while working:

1) The Straw-suck Face–Cooks need to hydrate a lot and often can’t refill their water during a shift. To remedy this, we fill a water pitcher with ice and water, wrap it with saran wrap and stick a straw in it. This is what we suck on throughout the night. The Straw-suck face is a dead-eyed fish face. The eyes focus on nothing while the mouth purses down and takes in as much water as the moment allows. This face is repeated whenever there is a lull in the shift.

2) The Tongue-out Precision Face–This is the face I make when I am slicing a steak with concentration. I am thinking about the angle and trying to make it all fit nicely on a plate. Once and a while this face is accompanied by a “please let this be medium-rare” eye-plea. But the overall face is face down, tongue slightly out and held between teeth. Maybe this is the same face a Laker would make while setting up a free-throw shot.

3) The Eye-Roll Dick Waiter Face–This is the face we make when a waiter is a dick or fucks something up. It is a full eye roll to all kitchen members sometimes followed by a crude comment and a chuckle. This is how the kitchen builds a collective spirit amongst themselves. Without a bad or dick waiter, we cooks wouldn’t like each other as much. By fucking things up they are actually bringing the team closer together.

4) The Lifting Heavy Shit Face–We all know this face. It’s the face you make when you are straining to get something safely down or through a narrow passage. Somehow it feels like my nostrils flare more while I am engaged in these activities. My mouth is closed. My jaw is clenched and my eyes are so focused they feel like tiny beacons in my face. Imagine an angry horse.

5)The Fuck I Burned Myself Face–An indignant wince. Equal parts anger at oneself and brief fleeting pain.

6 ) The End of Shift Face–Actually, it’s not so much a face as it is a twinkle in the eye. If someone says anything remotely funny at this point, you will laugh. When your drink is finished, you will laugh at not funny things.